T+7 Grinding it out

Still hanging in there, grinding it out waiting for my stem cells to decide they want to try and win this drag race. UGH, lazy bums. I hope I didn't get the Cubs of stem cells. Another long night last night of bloody noses for 2.5 hours, blood transfusions, platelet transfusions, running a fever every time I turn around. Pretty much all the same shit, but a different evening.

Oh, but my optimist of a doctor thinks I'm doing great, I look great, sound great, I make jokes. Inside I'm laughing because I know he'll never have to go through this, so he can't appreciate the energy it takes to be cordial to him in the morning.

Managed to make it till 10:30 this morning before my fever kicked in again. They still don't know what infection is causing the fevers, so they are adding another IV antibiotic, Vancomycin(sp?), in addition to the ceflefan(Sp?) I already get every 5 hours.

Dr. Happy Pants still thinks Sunday will be my big turnaround day. They all agree, once my system comes back on line, all this feeling like shit goes by the wayside pretty quick. I still won't feel as well, but I won't be refusing food or drink.

This is far harder than I imagined in writing my speech for Leukemia Cup Regatta. When I gave that speech, I would have thought, that sort of outlines the worst case scenarios, but that won't happen to me. Guess what, all those scenarios happen to just about everyone who goes through this, and they stack up, so they feel worse than one might expect.

Tomorrow I will have been in here two weeks. I sorta feel like that should count for something, but its really nothing more than a measure of time I've been in here. We're still planning on me being here a month, and then transferring home, where I can't imagine I'll be terribly strong. I'm weak as a kitten now, and losing weight pretty good. I wouldn't reccommend chemotherapy as a drastic weight loss solution, but the most I've weighed here is 228.9 and now I weigh 211.2. Weight Watchers would be pissed if I reported a weight loss of 17 lbs. in 10 days. HAHAHAHA.

I'm laughing at myself there...so on that note, I'll sign off for today. Love and hugs to all. Thanks for all your support, and loving kindness. I know you're out there, and it means alot to me.

Travis