Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas! It's wonderful to get to be here.

Life is a GIFT! How do you appreciate it?

I am thankful for everyday. Everyday with Honore, Hope, my family and my friends. And I appreciate my life by living it to the best of my ability all the time.

Love,

Travis

Monday, October 12, 2009

October 2009 Update

Wow, how time flies. I didn't realize it has been so long since I posted, so I better get something down. We've been really busy, as you might imagine with Hope now becoming a full-on toddler. She's entering the independent phase where every question we ask is answered, "No-no."

Hope are you thirsty? "No-No." between sips on her sippee cup.

or Hope, did you poopy? "No-No." Even though everyone within a block can smell it.

As for my health, I'm doing well. I had my third round of Rituxan in September, which went well. My doctor said I was doing great, blood work looked terrific, no B symptoms, basically nothing to complain about. Still in remission, so still just going one day at a time...which is really a great kind of way to live, no so tied up in worrying about the future really frees me in alot of ways.

I've been battling the flu the last two weeks. My body just doesn't seem to bounce back quite as quickly when I do get sick. I was sick for a couple of weeks with something similar in the spring. My only thing with that is I HATE being laid low. Just tired of being sick I guess...you kinda get that way after a while.

One thing that has been a huge positive for me lately, is how many people have contacted me because of the blog. Just last night I received an email from someone who's spouse was going through R-ICE chemotherapy in preparation for a Stem Cell Transplant. He was asking a few questions, and thanked me for posting this blog. It really touche me because that's what I intended when I originally decided to start this thing.

I hoped that by sharing my experiences I could, in some small way, make other people's journey that much easier, or maybe just a little less frightening. It is very rewarding to hear from people who draw inspiration or strength from what I wrote last year. It's kinda magical.

Gman, who is in the middle of his transplant right now, hang in there man....I'm pulling for you. You can do it!!! And, Craig's wife, who's in RICE today to get ready for a transplant, hopefully before Chrismas, you hang in there too!!! I know y'all have the strength and determination to make it....and you're in our prayers.

Guess, part of the truth of not writing is simply not knowing what anyone would find of any interest. Basically, we have a relatively normal life now. Sure, it feels like we're running around with our hair on fire all the time, but isn't that part of it? Isn't part of life being there and participating? Sure feels like it to me, at least after all we've been through, that's how I have come to view life.

This is the roller coaster, enjoy it while your aboard. The ride will end someday.....

Love to you all,

Travis

Monday, August 3, 2009

Mac update

Well, the race was terrific. We had a great time. It was very slow, but it was incredibly rewarding to even be a part of it. I struggled during the week with the fact that I was strong enough to be back out doing what I love so much. It was a tremendous high for me, a terrific reward for struggling through this last year.

We finished 17th out of 20 in our section, which was not good, but at least I got to participate. I sailed us into so many holes with no wind it wasn't funny. But we had a good crew and we had a good time.

Honore and Hope went up to Mackinac Island the weekend before, and had a terrific time playing on the island. Hope kept pointing to the horses and saying "Moo!", which was very funny. She also felt the overwhelming urge to kiss the horses, which usually meant Honore or I had to chase after her to prevent an unmitigated disaster.

Hope is such a wonderful gift for us. For me, she represents the newness of life. The joy of each new experience, the curiosity she has for the world at large is so refreshing to watch. Also, she waves at everyone she sees and if you don't wave back, she gets all worked up. It's very funny.

I received Jeff Abbott's new book, Trust Me, which he dedicated to me with a very wonderful thought. I have started it and am enjoying it thoroughly. Thank you Jeff, seeing your dedication brought tears to my eyes, and Honore's also.

I had my six month CT scans on the Wednesday before the Mackinac race. The results came back negative, so the cancer remains in remission. I am so relieved, as according to Dr. Grinblatt the first year after a stem cell transplant is very telling. This puts me on a path to making 5 years in remission, which would be terrific.

I am still on the Rituxan regimine, so I get treatment every three months, but it's really nothing much. The worst part of the Rituxan treatment is the benadryl knocking me silly on the day of treatment.

Life otherwise is returning to some sense of normalcy. I know normal doesn't exist for us, but returning to a relatively normal routine is nice. We will always live in the shadow of my lymphoma, and always wonder when it will return, but we have adapted to this and have become very proficient at living life to the fullest while we can and not wasting our time or energy worrying about the cancer.

We are back to raising money for the Leukemia Cup Regatta, which will be the end of August. We're looking forward to it, and would love any support. www.sailtravis.com to participate. Email me if you have interest in attending the event, August 21 & 22.

I'm playing with posting pictures of Hope, so bear with me on the pictures column. Trying to find an easier way of posting them.

Love to you all,

Travis

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Chicago-Mackinac Race

I had my six month CT scans two days ago, and they were clear. No sign of the cancer at this time, I'll see Dr. Grinblatt in August for a progress check, but for now, I have a CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH!!!! WOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I love when that happens. :)

The Mac is finally here! The biggest race in our annual sailing season, the world's longest fresh water race. 333 nm from Chicago to Mackinac Island, which basically runs the diagonal across Lake Michigan and into Lake Huron. I an especially excited about this year's race because I had to watch last year's race on my iPhone from the comforts of our lakehouse, which was horrible because all I wanted to do was be out on the water.
This year's race looks to be really slow, so after this afternoon's start (about 12:40 CDT), we should probably finish sometime Tuesday afternoon. I am racing on the Beneteau 36.7 Veloce. There are over 350 boats entered in this years race, and our section of the fleet has 20 boats in it.

You can track the race, including several boats in the Beneteau fleet by clicking http://www.cycracetomackinac.com/ and then looking for the iBoat Race Tracking logo on the right hand side of the webpage. You may also track the race on Facebook and/or Twitter, if you have any interest. Honore and Hope are already in Mackinac vacationing with the rest of the Woodside clan(except Hope and Craig who are still in Salt Lake City). They will be there when we arrive sometime Monday or Tuesday(hopefully not Wednesday).

For me, getting to do this race is a bit of a miracle. I had no idea I would be this strong, and have this good a stamina within a year. Regardless of how we do, I feel like we've won just getting to be on the boat.

I have to run, have a train to catch to make boatcall or I'm left ashore. Love to you all, thank you for your thoughts, prayers and wishes.

Travis

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Leukemia Cup Regatta Fundraising

As many of you know, Honore and I are large supporters of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and every year we fundraise in support of the Leukemia Cup Regatta. This year, the 13th Leukemia Cup in Chicago, will be hosted by Columbia Yacht Club on August 21st & 22nd.

I am attaching our fundraising letter for this year, as I think it sums up so many important reason we support the Society, and need your help.

If you have any interest in attending this year's event, please contact me and I can get you more information. twilhite@emergent1.com

Here's this year's letter......

June 15, 2009

Dear Friends,
We survived my Stem Cell Transplant in September. It was the most difficult thing we have ever gone through. My body was strong; my will to survive great, and my support group was amazing, including the wonderful love and strength shown by Honore. I triumphed, and the cancer is back in remission. I blogged about the journey if you are interested, log onto honitrav.blogspot.com.
However, my cancer remains incurable. My oncologist says I have a 50-50 chance of making 5 years in remission. Beyond that, it’s only a matter of time before the cancer returns. When it relapses, we have to use the last line of defense against my disease, a donor stem cell transplant.
Fortunately, my brother is a perfect match. Unfortunately, even with a perfect match, the procedure is extremely difficult, carries a 25% mortality rate, and only a 65% success rate. If it fails, they have to re-introduce my current stem cells and then it will be a long, slow battle until the cancer finally overwhelms my system.
So once again, Honore, Hope and I are supporting the Leukemia Cup Regatta here in Chicago. Hopefully, we can keep my cancer at bay long enough for medical research to find a cure for my disease, or another course of treatment to buy us more time.
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is the best way to support this effort, because of their dedication to finding a cure for blood cancers like mine. And the fact that 80% of the money raised goes directly to research.
We have met several researchers, including Dr. Janet Rowley, one of the world’s foremost Chromosomal Geneticists and widely regarded as potentially winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine. They have all indicated that without our support through the Society, many of the best treatments and medicines would never have been researched. We fund the early stages of development, before a procedure or medicine is big enough to earn government support. So in many ways, the money we raise is the MOST important.
Will you please help us in this effort? Simply, log on to
www.sailtravis.com or complete the form below and return it. Understanding this has been a tough year for many, we appreciate any contribution as even small amounts can make a HUGE difference.
The Regatta festivities this year include a silent auction and party on Friday night, August 21st and racing on Lake Michigan Saturday afternoon followed by a dock party and awards ceremony at Columbia Yacht Club. Mark your calendars today! With your help, we are going to beat this disease. Thank you for your support.

Love,

Honore & Travis

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

May Update

Wow, I can't believe its May 5th. Five months since my last update, and I'm sure by now almost no one's checking this anymore, but its time for me to post an update. Life's been extremely busy. Hope's walking, running, beginning to talk, and basically being an all around toddler. We have our hands full with her, she's full speed ahead from when she wakes up until she crashes, once for nap, once for night night. It's a blast, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

I am still doing very well. My last test results came back negative for cancer and according to my doctor, I'm doing extremely well. Basically, that means back to as normal as normal is going to be. I do still have some short term memory issues that are a problem, but there's nothing we can do about it. Large parts of my life, memories of places and people, are missing, which is sometimes upsetting, but not all that terrible. I also still have alot of recall issues, like if you tell me something in the morning, its probably 50-50 if I can recall it at dinner time. It depends on how focused and clear my mind is when you tell me. So, I'm learning to carry around a little notebook, thank you Jeff Abbott for the suggestion, and make notes of important things in my daily life. It's a pain, but it's better than the alternative.

Honore is doing great. She's finally starting to recover from the emotional trauma of last summer and fall. I cannot imagine how hard this must have been on her, or any of my family. There are many times I think it must be harder to be the survivor's spouse and family than the survivor. Honore had to keep life going, keep going to work, raising Hope, paying bills, all while trying to keep me upbeat and positive in my recovery. And I know that once home, I was no walk in the park. The hospital was tough, but in many ways being home has been tougher.

And while I'm at it, those who supported me throughout this ordeal share in the credit for my survival. From posting notes, sending cards and emails, to bringing dinners by all fall and taking care of Hope on my bad days, I cannot begin to thank you all enough.

Honore has a patient who underwent a stem cell transplant a year ago next week. I saw him a couple of weeks ago, and consider myself lucky. He looks like one of the skeleton's from the original Pirates of the Caribbean. He's lost 35% of his body weight, still has no hair and according to his doctor's he's right on track with where he should be. I look at him and think, "Man, I really am blessed to have recovered so well."

I never lost much weight, in fact I went into the hospital at 215 and came out at 207. Thanks to diet and exercise, I'm down to 190, which is where I would prefer to be anyway. My hair returned shortly after the first of the year, although its very curly, soft as a baby and has much less grey. In chemotherapy, hair loss is common. However, what you get when it returns is anyone's guess. In my case, its thick and soft, which it didn't used to be, and has much more black and less grey(yay!). And as my dear friend Clay says, "Buddy, at least you've got some." He's been bald since I met him seven years ago.

I did have some very tough news from Dr. Grinblatt, my main oncologist, in February. He told me my odds of relapse in the first five years after the transplant are 50-50, and that they "go down from there." All during my transplant, I kept thinking this would buy me 15-20 years. It really kept me going, thinking the transplant was a silver bullet of sorts. So, it was a bittersweet pill to swallow to learn that no, relapse is a question of when not if, and when may be much sooner than any of us were expecting.

I guess this was a big reason I didn't post the last couple of months. Many people's reaction to something like this is rather instinctively to go to the positive, "It's gone, those are just statistics. Don't think about them." I heard it alot when I talked to people about the news. Only, its not that simple from my perspective. See, the only treatment left for my disease is a donor transplant. Now, I'm lucky because my brother is a perfect match, and should I relapse, he would be my donor. However, donor transplants are far more dangerous than what I went through. The procedure has a 25% mortality rate, and the patients are far sicker for a far longer period of time. And, they run the risk of developing graft-vs-host disease, which is extremely dangerous because the grafted cells are the invincible white blood cells. The patient has no defense other than doing another autologus transplant to return to their original immune system, if they saved enough cells to do so.

Further, making it tough for me to talk about, I know what a transplant is like, and I don't want to do another one. Period. I really don't want to go through that again. It's hell. So, I crawl into my day-to-day life and don't post because it allows me to just live today and not think about the larger implications of what's going on in my body. But I need to write more, because mentally and emotionally, the battle is still not over.

I hope this post finds whomever reads it well. Thank you for your love and support.

Travis

Monday, January 5, 2009

Happy New Year.....Restaging Update

Happy New Year! Thank GOD that one's over!!! Rarely have I been so glad to get out of a year and begin a new one, but this year I was over the moon about it. 2008 was a great year because we had Hope come into our lives, and it was a terrible year because my cancer returned and I had to go through this whole treatment program. I'm not glad to see 08 go because it was bad or good, rather I'm glad to see 08 go because I'm ready for things to calm down to some degree. The volatility in 08 was simply too high to be sustainable for any length of time. The highs were super high, and the lows super low, and getting from one to the other was alot like riding a roller coaster blindfolded. Seems fun at first, but I got tired of getting yanked around so much.

Christmas was magical this year. It means so much more with a little one in our lives, I cannot begin to describe how wonderful it is seeing her all excited and playing with all the bows and wrapping. She just loved every minute of it. Honore commented that last year, our Christmas morning lasted about 30 minutes and then we were like, "now what." This year, we had to stop Christmas morning for our morning nap, so we opened for an hour, then napped for two, then resumed for another hour afterwards. It made for a wonderfully long morning playing in our living room.

Friday and Saturday, I underwent my restaging tests. Friday was the PET scan and Saturday was the CT scan. They are relatively painless, and really don't take too long. In fact, the PET is really the worse of the two because of the way they strap you to the table for 45 minutes making it so you cannot move. I schedule the test early in the morning so its easier for me to meditate(because its almost like going back to sleep). Meditating is my key to calming my body, holding still and making the time go by quickly. I am on my way downtown to the Transplant Unit at Northwestern today to meet with Dr. HappyPants to get my update and see how the tests went. I have no reason to believe there was anything on the tests to be worried about, and am expecting a routine examination.

I"ll post more later today or tomorrow to update how things went with the good doctor. Have to get going.

Happy New Year again,

Travis