A Moment of Peace

Last night, Honore and I attended the funeral for a close friend of ours who was a cancer survivor also.  He battled a rare form of Malignant melanoma with the courage of a lion, the heart of a champion and the love of the blessed.  Bruce rests in God's Palm.

The experience got me to thinking, I needed to update this blog.  It is beyond time to begin posting again.  Being a two time survivor of such a nasty disease, puts me in a difficult situation at events like last night.  My heart grieves for the loss of my friend, and I feel guilty for surviving my ordeal, but a part of me wonders if I will have as much grace and poise when my turn comes.  If my NHL is to take me, I want to leave a legacy of inspiration to my friends, my family and to other survivors, who still from time to time find this little blog and get in touch with me about their story.

I cannot fathom the power of God, or how He chooses who survives and who is called to His side.  I simply don't know, and I don't worry about it too much.  My journey has taught me the value of living, everyday.  I still go to sleep many nights wondering when my cancer will return, and wondering if I'm happy with how I spent my day.

The first question, I leave up to the care of my oncologist and the doctors at my hospital.  Tomorrow, July 11, 2012, I go through my latest check-up.  I am not too worried for a change.  I'm not doing a CT scan for this follow-up, I switched to annual CT scans in January of this year.  I don't have any of the secondary symptoms I am supposed to watch out for, and I have been feeling really great physically.

As to the second question, I go to sleep most nights very happy with how I spend my time.  I do wish for more time often, but that's not up to me.