GREAT news....what a relief

Poof!  Just like that all the stress and angst over my follow up disappeared when my blood work came back the best since the transplant.  Dr. Grinblatt was very pleased and said, "Go have a great summer, you are doing terrific."

So Honore and I took Hope to the beach for the afternoon and then went to one of our favorite Mexican food joints for Sauza Commerotivo margaritas and chimichangas!

Now back to life.....the 2012 Leukemia Cup Regatta fundraising campaign is now underway!  WWW.SAILTRAVIS.COM or il.lcr.llsevent.org/sailtravis to donate or find out more information.  Since 2004, Honore and I have raised over $350,000, 80% of which has gone directly to blood cancer research.  

As my disease remains incurable, we NEED this research to give me hope for a cure.  The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has seen incredible success in the last few years on several drugs and therapies, including  the Rituximab treatment I underwent during both chemo therapies and following my Stem Cell Transplant.

Six Month Follow Up

As I sit here waiting to go to my oncologist's office for my follow up, I cannot help but feel nervous and jittery.  I know I have not had any secondary symptoms lately, and that I feel terrific, but there's that gnawing tension of knowing that a bad blood test and right back into the nightmare.  I hate it.  For me, the waiting has always been the hardest part.

How can I not wonder, 'what if the test is bad?'.  Well, it's back to CT scans, PET scans and more chemotherapy.  Scarily, I know the next round of treatment, it's my last available weapon against my NHL, a donor Stem Cell Transplant.  I know it will involve months of preparatory chemotherapy, another trip through the isolation unit, and who knows how long in recovery.  My brother is a perfect match, so I don't have to fret over finding a donor.  I even know the procedure carries a 25% mortality rate, mostly from the deadly graft vs. host disease from the transplanted immune system.

But, none of that makes the waiting to go to Dr. Grinblatt's office any easier.  I hate this disease.  I hate what it has done to my life, my family's life and the legacy of waiting for the shoe to drop.  I understand there are gifts from my journey, I get there are insights on life that only people in my position can have, and I understand that doing so well in my trial may serve in some small way as inspiration for others.  Yet, I still hate waiting......

T

A Moment of Peace

Last night, Honore and I attended the funeral for a close friend of ours who was a cancer survivor also.  He battled a rare form of Malignant melanoma with the courage of a lion, the heart of a champion and the love of the blessed.  Bruce rests in God's Palm.

The experience got me to thinking, I needed to update this blog.  It is beyond time to begin posting again.  Being a two time survivor of such a nasty disease, puts me in a difficult situation at events like last night.  My heart grieves for the loss of my friend, and I feel guilty for surviving my ordeal, but a part of me wonders if I will have as much grace and poise when my turn comes.  If my NHL is to take me, I want to leave a legacy of inspiration to my friends, my family and to other survivors, who still from time to time find this little blog and get in touch with me about their story.

I cannot fathom the power of God, or how He chooses who survives and who is called to His side.  I simply don't know, and I don't worry about it too much.  My journey has taught me the value of living, everyday.  I still go to sleep many nights wondering when my cancer will return, and wondering if I'm happy with how I spent my day.

The first question, I leave up to the care of my oncologist and the doctors at my hospital.  Tomorrow, July 11, 2012, I go through my latest check-up.  I am not too worried for a change.  I'm not doing a CT scan for this follow-up, I switched to annual CT scans in January of this year.  I don't have any of the secondary symptoms I am supposed to watch out for, and I have been feeling really great physically.

As to the second question, I go to sleep most nights very happy with how I spend my time.  I do wish for more time often, but that's not up to me.